Superwoman...(Excerpt from a book)

As much as I would like to Superwoman, I can't be. I am miles from being Superwoman. Superwoman's house wouldn't be dirty at all. Superwoman's house wouldn't have a Macy's bag lying on the kitchen floor, from a purchase made days ago. Superwoman would never forget her grandmother's birthday or be late for work or allow one of the children to spill a strawberry milkshake in  Dad's company car. She would never have overdue books from the library or overdue movies from the video store or a bad hair day. She would never misplace her glasses, her keys, or her entire purse. (Superwoman would never wear glasses.) Superwoman would never make a false start into a four-way-stop intersection or graze another car in the supermarket parking lot. And Superwoman would never lock her keys in the trunk. Superwoman would always eat the right foods and get enough rest. Her fingernails and toenails would always be neatly painted. The same color.

Superwoman would be either the perfect "Donna Reed" homemaker or the perfect, got-it-all-together career woman. She would never feel like an ineffective compromise between the two. Superwoman would have a clear sense of purpose instead of feeling pulled in many different directions. Superwoman would SAVE THE WORLD! She would never be afraid of it. Superwoman would never cry. Superwoman would never wait two months to balance the checkbook. Superwoman's ice trays would never stay empty. Superwoman's bed would be made every day, early in the day, very early in the day.

Superwoman would never burn a grilled cheese sandwich because she got engrossed in emptying the dishwasher. Superwoman would be a soprano soloist, not an adequate alto in the choir's second row. Superwoman would never say stupid things that embarrass her. She would never hurt a friend's feelings thoughtlessly. She would never lose her temper. Superwoman would never feel sorry for herself. And Superwoman would have no need of God. Superwoman is not real, because all real people have need of God.

I am real. Real vulnerable. Real concerned. Real happy. Real sad. Real needy. I'm not Superwoman! Superwoman does not exist. But super women do. A super woman never focuses only on her failings, but recognizes her unique abilities and celebrates them. A super woman remembers to take note of and take heart in all that she does right. A super woman pauses in the midst of the mundane and the monotonous to remember the perfect golden-brown meringue on that last chocolate pie (and how the friends who shared it raved about it); to reflect on major and  minor successes in life which are such standard performance they tend not to stand out or be appreciated as they really should; to realize the world needs altos as well as sopranos.

A super woman fights feeling of dejection by reminding herself of all the birthdays remembered, school projects helped with, lost objects found, dresses sewn, piano lessons given, reports written, hugs shared, meals prepared, deadlines met, sorrows consoled, biscuits rolled, shoes tied, new recipes tried, coworkers helped, lessons learned, money earned, calls returned, and grilled cheese sandwiches not burned. A super woman acknowledges to herself the many gifts and abilities she brings to her family, to her work, to her world. She remembers that each gift and each ability comes from God and can be used to honor him. Above all, she finds her personal worth in God's perfect love and sees the futility of trying to achieve or prove worth through her own accomplishments. There is no Superwoman. But there are a great many super women. And I am one of them. 

**EXERPT from a book**( I don't know which one since I didn't notate it in the original post or I would credit it, sorry to the author!)

Until next time.

Greatest Irony of Love..

The greatest irony of love; loving the right person at the wrong time;"having the wrong person when the time is right and finding out you love someone right after that person walks out of your life... And sometimes, you think you're already over a person, but when you see them smile at you, you'll suddenly realize that you're just pretending to be over them just to ease the pain of knowing that they will never be yours again... For some, they think that letting go is one way of expressing how much they love that person... In my opinion, some are afraid to see the one they love being held by someone else... Most relationships tend to fail not because the absence of love. Love is always present. It's just that one was being loved too much and the other was being loved too little... As we all know that the heart is the center of the body but it beats on the left. Maybe that's the reason why the heart is not always right... Most often we fall in love with the person we think we love but to only discover that for them we are just for passing time. While the one who truly loves us remains either a friend or a stranger... So here's a piece of advice; let go when you're hurting too much. Give up when love isn't enough, and move on when things are not like before... For sure there is someone out there WHO WILL LOVE YOU EVEN MORE! ~Author Unknown

Repercussions of a Breakup

So yesterday was the first day I didn't do any drinking at all. I figured since it's God's day of rest, I'd give my liver a rest as well. That didn't go down very well. I felt absolute vicious yesterday. I wanted to punch holes in the walls, kick, and destroy shit all day. I wanted to cry and scream but I didn't do either. I wanted to get blitzed, didn't do that either. It actually took all my willpower not to do anything. I did get up and go to church but I felt more irritated sitting there but I sat thru the whole service. Figured maybe it would sink in through osmosis or something. Guess I'll see later because I'm still in the most putrid of moods. I'm never hungry and all I want to do is walk, not that it helps but it's something I suppose. I think what is bothering me so much is that my ex doesn't even appear to be apologetic. The words were said but no actions. Nothing.

 I feel victimized and like the biggest idiot ever to live. Am I overreacting? Nope, not one bit because they was my one of my closest friends and after trusting in them for about 2yrs, I feel betrayed. I stopped and started doing things because of them, not because they asked me to but because I know they liked or didn't like certain things that I did.... and I'm not even talking about sex or anything sex-related. I had a theory about love as far as I am involved, I honestly didn't think that it was for me no matter how much I want it and to be married, never had faith that it would happen for me. Then, I had to go and fall in love with them which gave me the twinkle of hope that maybe I was wrong but not anymore.

 As painful as this is, I don't want anything else to do with it. I'll just do what I have to do when and if I have 'needs' but the rest of that bullshit, I do NOT need. Thanks, but no thanks. I lost my close friend and a dear loved one, best believe I'm ill-mannered. Irony of this fiasco is that when I have a bad day, they would be the one that would make it better. Positive into a huge negative in the flip of a fuckin' hat. And as much as I try to get over it, the madder I get.

Sigh, until next time.

Signs you're dating a keeper...

1. You don't have to wait three or more hours for a response for a simple text every time you send one. 

2. They aren't embarrassed or put out by introducing you to their friends/including you sometimes in their outings. 

3. They are willing to give, or at least share, the last slice of pizza. 

4. You are not afraid to be yourself around them; your strange humor, your occasionally awkward mannerisms, your interests in things that other people might consider a waste of time. 

5. Even if what you like might not be their favorite thing, they are always willing to give things a try if they are important to you. 

6. They don't fill your Facebook wall with inappropriate;OMG baby it's been almost a week! Miss u so much!-esque posts, because no one deserves to have to look at that. 

7. They respect not only you, but the people you love in your life; if they are super sweet to you but constantly ragging on your parents/friends, you need to cut them loose. 

8. You are both able to communicate honestly with each other about your feelings and needs in the relationship without feeling like it's going to turn into a horrible fight. 

9. They are a firm, enthusiastic believer in cunnilingus. 

10. You never feel as though they are slumming it or doing a favor by being with you. 

11. They surprise you; and not just with random gifts of flowers or chocolate. They are evolving into a better person from being with you (just as you are with them). 

12. You don't have to have some extravagant night in an expensive restaurant in order to both enjoy the evening and feel appreciated. 

13. There is never a question as to how they actually feel about you. 

14. Sex isn't used as a placeholder for other emotions that might not be there, or not be there in high enough quantities. 

15. They are just as capable of having a ridiculous night in, eating junk food and watching crappy TV, as they are of shining up and attending an important event. 

16. Your mom likes them. 

17. You are capable of both doing your own thing from time to time without the other becoming irrationally jealous, suspicious, or angry. 

18. There is never any doubt that they are thinking of you, that they consider your feelings, and that you are important to their life. 

19. You both have generally similar visions of the future, and what you want out of life. (You don't want there to come a moment where things can go no further because, say, one absolutely wants children and the other absolutely doesn't.) 

20. If you suffer a moment of weakness or need help with something, they are eager to support you and not shame you for being incapable of handling it on your own. 

21. If they are straight, they don't say f*g, and if they are white, they don't say the n-word. They show respect. (Any keeper needs basic home training.) 

22. They don't make fun of your taste in music/pop culture/entertainment. (Well, a little teasing is fine, but they shouldn't be seriously judging you over it.) 

23. They encourage and support you in pursuing your dreams in life. 

24. You feel welcome and comfortable around their family; even if no future in-laws are perfect. 

25. There aren't any secrets between the two of you, or things about yourselves which you feel you need to seriously hide from one another. 

26. They are proud of you. 

27. There is no pressure for either of you to adhere to strict, completely outdated gender roles; or a feeling that, if you don't, the other isn't attracted to you anymore. 

28. Your friends enjoy being around them, and generally think that they are a cool person who is good for you. 

29. They make you laugh, laugh so hard you can't breathe, laugh so much that you don't care if you're doing your; ugly, weird, cackley/snorty laugh. (And they love your laugh.) 

30. You are capable of having thoughtful, intelligent discussions about subjects that; even if you don't necessarily agree on the topic at hand; teach both of you something and remain respectful. 

31. You feel fully comfortable around them naked, in bright afternoon light. 

32. You reciprocate all of these things for them, and are excited at the prospect of being a better, smarter, more caring person because of the healthy way in which you love one another.

I read these on Eric Roberson's blog and thought I'd share as well. (http://www.ericrobersonmusic.com/2012/09/26/signs-youre-dating-a-keeper/)

Parent's Anniversary

 This is is an old post from another blog that I deactivated..

My parents celebrated their 34th wedding anniversary this month. I think that is really a great accomplishment. It is something that I hope to achieve myself. What they and some others possess is really beautiful. Now for my parents, I think it was a 'Steve Urkel effect'. (chuckling) I am very serious though. To hear my mom tell it, she didn't give him any of her attention and after he wore her down for four years, they were married. My parents are complete opposites, if there ever were any even til this day. It's amazing one of them hasn't killed the other for getting on each other's nerves but they really love each other and that's what's kept them together so long. So to illustrate my parents differences I'm going to describe them separately and then talk about them together. My mom is 5' ft tall(although if you ask her she will say 5'1), quiet, honey complexioned woman. From the outside, she is easy-going, gets along with everyone, and just a plain ole sweetie-pie as I've heard her described. Now from the inside(child's POV), she is understanding, dependable, and will do anything to help me or my sibling even when we don't ask. But make her mad, as kids, me and my sibling were more scared of her than my dad. I find that hilarious now. But when my mom was mad, she sets out to kill. As a kid, I once made a mistake of repeating what I hear on television and cursed and all I'm going to say is I'm surprised I'm alive on today. (giggling but; so serious) My mom is also very protect, more like over-protective. As kids, we could not spend the night at other people's houses and that went for most relatives too. I spent the night with a friend once in the 6th or 7th grade and that was a miracle and it only happened because my dad let me go after she said 'no'. She was mad but she let me go and it was only for one night. She didn't play that but all were welcomed at my house. I guess that's because she was sheltered as a kid. She if you ask her was the ultimate bookworm and church girl. And in a way she still is, I love that she has remained the same over all that time. I love that woman so much, she's a big part of my heart. :) Now on to my dad who is 6'ft tall, loud, dark coffee-complexioned military man. My dad has been in the military for over have of his life but he is the all-time jokester. He jokes even when it's not funny. He speaks his mind at all times and is always been hardworking. It's interesting and funny that most of the people that my dad interacts with are a little bit scared of him(that are not in the military of course) and he doesn't even know it. I told him a couple of years ago and of course he didn't believe me. Even in his family, they jump if he tells them to do something. It's funny that me and my sibling are the opposite when it comes to him telling us to do something. We always have to remind him that we are not his soldiers but his children. (That is a losing battle, let me tell you.) My dad never hesitates to do anything I ask him to though. He's always had a hustle to provide for us. Grateful for that. Even though, he gets on my absolute last nerve, I love that man dearly. Those two together are the ultimate All-Star team. Although they couldn't be more at the opposite ends of the spectrum, they complement each other so well. My mom usually keeps my dad in check and my dad handles all the concerns my mom would never confront on her own. They are best of friends and tell each other everything and share just about everything with the exception of clothes; But what my dad's is my mom's and what's my mom's is my dad's if he asks permission first. (Giggling) They have been through several ups and downs but they made it. They truly meant til death do us part in their vows. They set a great example of what love looks like. Move over Barack and Michelle, you have nothing on my parents. 

That's all for now so until next time.

I'm back

Hello readers. I'm back. It's 2014 and I am going to try to diligently write more. I have so much going in my head and my life. I've been thinking about life a lot lately, the things that I've survived and experienced. Life really is like a rollercoaster with both ups and downs but lately mostly downs. I know this ride isn't over yet and it's destined for the up side. I recently had my heart broken, nursed my child thru major surgery and now am trying to learn a new language. Hola mis amigos.

I'm going to write these thoughts out of my mind. It's my life, my thoughts and my feelings here. Nothing really instructional but I hope my mistakes help someone else. That's all for now. Take care.

Until next time.